This is NOTHING like the experience of attractive (or even unattractive) women I worked with. after coffee. Women deal with this sort of stuff all the time at work, in public, going about errands, etc. The more you think about it the more chance you have of acting like a creeper lol. This is not okay and very creepy. Is there any known 80-bit collision attack? Thats a great idea. But you know what? Worse the job requirements often entail being nice to customers, and definitely engaging customers and remaining at ones post. I think youll only figure that out if you can talk to him outside of work. Then why the hell were you flirting with me non-stop for days? That is, Cheese Guy was not an 18 year old cashier, he was the cheese manager for the chain. I object to singling out women. OMG yes. It only takes a minute to sign up. I realized Im just one data point, but I am actually friends with many people who Ive met through work. just ask her if she would be interested in going to lunch with you i'm sure she would be flattered!!. Shes always at the checkout and never doing stuff like sorting products or cleaning the floor where I could actually ask her out. If you call someone up out of the blue and she never even talked to you she wont know if you are some complete psychopath and will be very concerned that someone is watching her without her being aware of it. The customer could respond in a perfectly reasonable manner after being turned down, but the employee will still be extremely nervous about the exchange. THAT IS NOT ME FLIRTING OR LEADING YOU ON, THAT IS ME DOING MY JOB. My guess is that the OP is a man, simply because men (of all orientations) are more likely to hit on service employees than women are. How to ask someone you see regularly out on a date, without making it awkward? People always think theyll be the exception to this, but.ugh. The whole thing was awkward (dude who are you and why are you asking me out after literally 1 minute of interaction?) Too much overthinking going on here. Since cashiers handle cash and cards, they must have a high level of This will help reduce any anxiety and make it easier for you to get the words out when the time comes. (Of course, maybe he WAS too embarrassed to ever return, but I cant think of why, because politely asking a person out isnt embarrassing), Thanks mel, a friend in retail recommended the note thing; thats how she began dating a customer. But regardless, you asked whats the worst that could happen, not whats the normal thing that is most likely to happen. And, well, there you go, thats probably the worst that could happen. I think theres a power differential between the customer and the employee that youre missing here. Assenting to courtship is an act of whimsy. The OP only seemed receptive to posts encouraging her to do it though. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I am 21 years old and living in a large city in Germany where smalltalk in local markets is not a common thing. Most notably, the fireman passed his number through those people to give to her, and left it up to her to contact him if she was interested. There's an implicit power imbalance between customer and employee. How to ask cashier out for date - Interpersonal Skills Stack My band's playing at the Speakeasy this Thursday, and I wanted to let you know about it. Contact the financial institution that the cashiers check was issued from to find out if its valid. This is an advice about how to do it, now keep it mind that people mostly tell you not to do it. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Or even worse if I read the signs wrong and she rejects me? And if she doesn't come, well, you were planning to go there anyways so it's not a real loss on your part - you just spent an afternoon/evening doing something you already enjoy. I definitely advocate making any sort of social overture carefully and without undue pressure, I just dont know that I can agree with the voices advocating for blanket ban. For example: "I like to grab lunch here before going to [Public Event You Enjoy]". My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is only sitting at the cash point? But, try becoming friends outside of work first. Trust me on this, its not good.. So now that Ive rambled, I just hope the OP really considers this persons demeanor before putting him in a potentially awkward situation. So I go into a shop to buy some shoes, it's a bit of an oldskool shop where you ask the saleswoman to fetch a box of shoes, try them, etc. I'm aware that Germans are renowned for being very direct people, though, so it could be the right move to do after all. To the owner of the shop. As a man whos been asked out 4 times by clients, I say go for it! Finally, she asked him out. Asking her 10 times more won't bring a better result. Short story about swapping bodies as a job; the person who hires the main character misuses his body. (This doesnt include asking for your number when filling out a form for the job.). OP think twice, thrice, four times before you do this. The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a message. Love the cheese fries line. Apologies on behalf of the male half of the human race. I dont what it is about retailperhaps the forced friendliness-but it just seems like everyone thinks were dying for dates and I would get asked out constantly. I think people sometimes forget that retail employees are supposed to act like this, but then, a lot of people assume that if a woman is smiling at you, shes obviously interested in you, so. Im not saying that women never have trouble, because of course they do, but every one of the incidents that the men described were situations where all of the women who were in the conversation were basically what the hell were you thinking going somewhere alone with a stranger/letting a stranger get that physically close to you?. And as others have mentioned, it's very easy to misinterpret her general customer service skill as "signals" of something else which she didn't intend. I was a bartender for many years and the worst thing about my job was the endless flirting and customers asking me out on dates. Webit takes some time and money to do this.. first come in the shop often (you probably had that part so you can skip that if you like) so she will notice you but yeah.. if she isn't looking at Its not as dramatic as a manager asking out his employee, but in many retail environments the customer *absolutely* has power over the employee. # Community Guidelines If i ever did (which i wont because im too shy, but shes the most beautiful thing ive ever seen) ask her out and she said no, i wouldnt have a problem at all i think women are allowed to decide things by themselves and shouldnt be pressured into saying yes or no. Remember that she has to be somewhat friendly with you, don't force her to behave friendly against her will with someone she sees as a creep. People should use common sense caution. I have told him what it is like to be a woman in a customer service environment and he thinks I am exaggerating. It definitely impacts what might feel flattering versus intrusive when you come from a male context, where there isnt the automatic feeling of what do you want? WebOriginally Answered: How do you ask a (girl) cashier out? She said shes there to work, not to get hit on or asked out. Wrong. A "yes" response would be very cool and and allow you to follow it up with a proposition like, "sometime this week at x coffee shop, is there a good time?". Maybe we could get cheese fries on another day, then you know. It was somewhat flattering with compliments but also uncomfortable if they couldnt accept my response. Can I use the spell Immovable Object to create a castle which floats above the clouds? Don't make it awkward. I cant figure out a way to work cheese into this at all though, unfortunately :) I know what you mean about the manager thing: hes older and its one of those places where managers are expected to do everything that their employees do so I dont know if he is or not. Just a reality check. And Id probably be sure to check in on Swarm so thered be a record of it. As a consequence, we have to have our radar on all the time, because we have no idea which are the jerks/creeps/violent sexual offenders until they get jerky/creepy/assault us. I agree that the group thing could be a good, low-pressure way to go. However, there was one guy that asked me out that I totally would have gone out with, if I hadnt already been dating my now-husband. Adult education class. But the guys who were polite and made a no pressure suggestion to grab coffee or see a movie sometime or whatever, were not doing anything wrong. Hes at work. If hes staring at the OP its more likely because he thinks the OP is a potential shoplifter than because hes romantically interested. Again, not altruism: it's in our interest; the path to "why not?" Thats a lot different from walking into a store and asking someone whos rung you up at the cash register three or four times to go to dinner with you. She Doesnt Owe You Shit I agree with everything you said. By clicking Post Your Answer, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy. Im going to respectfully disagree. You should try it sometime. so if said gentleman wishes to run into you outside of work he would have a pretty good idea of how to do so. Ask and offer advice for specific dating situations. At restaurants this happened a lot and I was never offended and it was only slightly awkward for a moment and a simple I have a boyfriend always worked as a no whether I had one or not. But he wasnt asking her out. (I was visiting my hometown, where he worked, but I lived pretty far away.). Some points of potential special cases. NC for a month already, I dont think shes coming back. I never watch the show. When I was in college, I had a crush on my bank teller because I was there fairly regularly and we always chitchatted and flirted. My boyfriend has told me many stories about the waitresses who were in love with him when he was single and I just shake my head in amazement. Well, we have to also figure out if the customer service involves tipping or not. That said, if the OP is a woman interested in a man, her odds of him going psychotic on her are a lot lower than in the reverse, so she might have better luck. Try to engage her when you see her, but just minimally. How To Get Dares Of Eternity Lightning Round. To restart a mission in Red Dead Redemption 2, you must first locate. So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. But what is your advice? If youve been hit on/propositioned once a shift for the past month, that one guy who is genuinely kind and interested in getting to know you is just going to be added to the SERIOUSLY! how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? How to ask a store clerk to leave you alone without being rude? Maybe you should stop by is perfect because simply not showing up is a lot easier than rejecting someone outright. They are paid to be nice and helpful and to show up where youre shopping if they think you might need help. Something like the Pareto Principle is definitely at play here 80% of creepy, inappropriate behavior comes from 20% of the population. And if theres mutual chemistry, you can always get dinner/drinks/etc. But its still a business interaction. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. In this case, it's simple: you get rejected. Like, just reading the net, its easy to get the impression that a good 80% of men are creepsters. If you buy e.g. During your conversation with her, mention some place you're planning to be in the future so she can find you there if she chooses. Your interaction with the cashier is constrained by work rules (she has to be nice to you) and also social norms. With this knowledge in mind, she's common-senseley (making up words!) I hope you have the common sense to not stalk her, to find out where she lives or what she does in her free time just to find a loophole and ask her there. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. This is not a hook up sub My rule is simple. but its great that you remained friendly. Or she might clue you in on to where she might be outside of work. Ive seen a lot of this sentiment in this thread (Im biased; Im female) and I just want to say: A lot of women dont find being hit on or asked out by a strange man flattering, especially if the most conversation theyve had with them is either mundane chitchat or about the customers order/purchase. I worked in restaurants for years and later on in customer service and sales. Its very frustrating. To help you build up the courage to take the plunge, it is important to focus on feeling more confident. Its my practice since to never pursue workers in service, not that it matters so much now. Please. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. That may not have occurred to you, but like I say, "men doing our usual" doesn't create any safety or empowerment. That was 8 years ago. I am quite new to relationships, but the signs she gave me are promising. They dont look for or even care if they get a non-verbal clue she is interested. I know I can just walk up to her and be like "you're cute, wanna go out?" Keep a close eye on who listens intently to what youre saying, and who just wants to hear themselves talk.
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